i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
