well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize