two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize