I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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