If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
