Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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