Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
