i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize