New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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