Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im six kinds of drunk right now
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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