All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
