yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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