Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
