Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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