i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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