i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
