Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
