If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
