Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
