haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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