Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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