Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize