Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
