I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
