Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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