Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
