Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
