Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize