It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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