They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
