Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
