wrigley field is MILF paradise
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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