With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
