My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
