If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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