She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
