What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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