if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
