yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
