Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
