she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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