You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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