could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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