i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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