Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
