guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing