Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  At what point did we cease to have vaginas?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.

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  (970): At what point did we cease to have vaginas? (720): Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year. http://tfl.nu/ox7z
  Replies (3) Good night (784) Bad night (1862)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy

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  (614): see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy http://tfl.nu/v81p
  Replies (41) Good night (4680) Bad night (1410)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat

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  (913): Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat http://tfl.nu/os6y
  Replies (29) Good night (6968) Bad night (1486)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.

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  (508): she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it. http://tfl.nu/mcxs
  Replies (38) Good night (1786) Bad night (7420)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.

  (925): View more from California

  "half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.

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  (541): mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up. (925): "half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking. http://tfl.nu/v25q
  Replies (3) Good night (2945) Bad night (966)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.

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  (314): I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate. http://tfl.nu/fw6h
  Replies (12) Good night (2762) Bad night (1072)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just arrived at our party

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  (708): Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis (773): Just arrived at our party http://tfl.nu/7hao
  Replies (18) Good night (3922) Bad night (885)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.

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  (850): I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong. http://tfl.nu/d58h
  Replies (6) Good night (1448) Bad night (537)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever

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  (404): Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever http://tfl.nu/354h
  Replies (4) Good night (991) Bad night (644)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall

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  (412): I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall http://tfl.nu/47d9
  Replies (1) Good night (972) Bad night (524)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.

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  (713): Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help. http://tfl.nu/jai4
  Replies (13) Good night (1981) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.

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  (786): Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel. http://tfl.nu/klyg
  Replies (0) Good night (363) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you

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  (902): I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished (1-902): I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you http://tfl.nu/66fn
  Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (387)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.

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  (727): Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers. http://tfl.nu/8gxv
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (235)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.

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  (917): just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes. http://tfl.nu/pkb0
  Replies (4) Good night (472) Bad night (300)

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