Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"