So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
