Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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