dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize