Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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