Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
