so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
