her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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