She's JV to your varsity
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
