I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
