I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
