i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
