Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
