Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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