I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize