I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
