How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize